06 December 2010

Progress On The Obscure Child

On the 29th of November, I wrote a short introductory piece to the new version of Peikigi's story, The Obscure Child. I wanted to do this as part of the worldbuilding of the story, to give the reader some clues as to Peikigi's future. That her journals from her Secondary School years have been made available to the reading public is an important indicator of her status to come, as is the fact that the person who wrote the introduction shares her last name. Just two hints of Peikigi's future at the very beginning.

The story has changed substatially from my original conception of it, though much of that original concept remains. The substantial changes encompass my better understanding of Peikigi and those around her. I have a bit of outline written, but I doubt I'll be doing much outlining on this project; I can't seem to get the scenes to organize enough in my mind. I may be too accustomed to working things out as I write them; it took me a couple hours to organize the scenes in the outline, and I'm still not satisfied with the organization. I may have to try a different method of outlining. I just haven't figured out what yet.

I believe I was able to improve upon the original first chapter of TOC with the new first chapter I've written. I've given Peikigi friends and allies in her home eshosha, but I've still placed her in a location where she's discounted and condescended to. Her original goal is to become a priest, which will explain her closeness to Abodaore and familiarity with the Temple, but will retain the indications that she would best serve her people as a Sabi'Oji.

I did do some copy-pasting from the first chapter; I believed it began the story too well for me to be able to rewrite it all better. I couldn't think of any scenes that could improve upon what I had originally written, except to change the eshosha manager's opinion of Peikigi.

I've been working on the motivations of the various people she'll meet in secondary school. I intend to make Peikigi make her situation more difficult at the school all by herself. She'll start off by injuring a favored student, which will offend at least one teacher. Then she'll backtalk other instructors, telling them they're not treating her properly (she'll be right, but they're Voting adults, and they won't like it). It's going to culminate in the teachers who are indifferent and supportive of her departing when she enters for her oral exam and refusing to grade her written exam. They'll do this because they'll have been corrupted with certain information they shouldn't have and will feel unable to fairly judge her knowledge--these are the instructors with integrity. Those without it will deliberately remain so they can falsely judge her knowledge, doing so unfavorably.

This will drive her closer to the Sabi'Oji.

At the same time, her peers in school will mock her. What I'm doing with all this is isolationg Peikigi. And making her angry. An angry Peikigi becomes more determined to succeed, and, though she really doesn't want to, she will turn to the Sabi'Oji because her education is very important to her. Through their guidance, she'll come to see the merits of becoming a Sabi'Oji and come to appreciate her strengths, but it won't be an easy journey for her. Part of her condition is a weak heart, and that's going to interfere with her education under the Sabi'Oji who volunteer to educate her.

I'm really looking forward to writing this new versiono of TOC. I just hope I can make steady progress on it.