On the trip to CO, I made a detailed list of the characters' motivations. whee I've now started on the full rewrite of HoI, and it seems to be going well. I think I have a stronger begining. I'm trying to focus more on Keiki, too. I think I lost focus on his emotions and all in the rough. To make sure I keep his motivations in mind, I'm keeping the list on top of the rest. I need to remember to include the others' motivations only as they relate to Keiki's, and I hope this helps some.
I'm finding the pov a bit easeir to get into this time. 1st isn't my best (in my opinion) pov to write from. Familiarity with the world is helping a bit, I think. I'm having fun with it--when Dale's desktop works. LOL