I decided to reread one of my writing-advice books. This one: Dynamic Characters by Nancy Kress. It's part of what's sparked a lot of the changes that I've been thinking of the past couple days.
For instance, I'm expanding the twins' roles. I want to differentiate between the two a bit more, make it clear that they're operating in collusion. I'm also hoping to be able to make it clear which twin is whom by their behavior twoards my protagonists, Keiki--who's not having an easy time doing his duty this time around! Not only that, I've been able to slip a reference to Jaiya into the begining thus far--comparing her skill to Keiki's. My rough draft is turning into a glorified outline, but that's no problem, because I'm more interested now than before. Whee!
I wrote a little last night before bed. In about an hour I got over a thousand words. It all came so easy, felt so good. I'll compare it to an orgasm. Writing last night was like an orgasm. I may have to tweak the first chapter, which opens with the real Akiro confronting Keiki--hoping for information Keiki wouldn't share even if he had a choice in it. I think I confused myself a bit and I plan on cleaning it up a bit, since I figured out that I want both twins active in the conspiracy.
However, any confrontation between Keiki and one of the twins alone is going to involve the real Akotai, who wants to eliminate Keiki RIGHT NOW, instead of taking his wiser brother's advice and waiting for an opportune time. If they're caught attempting to kill Keiki, who is a Sabi'Oji (and in the direct, if not legal, line to ascend to the throne--but they don't know that), they'll be executed. But Akotai, whom I've realized is feeling a bit restricted by his brother's magical superiority, wants to assert his independence.
So, I'm going to have to go back and tweak Akiro so he'll consistently read as Akiro from CH1 on.
As to Keiki's difficulties: well, they're his, aren't they? He doesn't want to serve Barukei, though he's admitted he considered Courting Barukei before he (Keiki) went off to learn how to be a Sabi'Oji. I may change the timeline of it a bit. A year on Imotina's planet is 640 days long, a month forty days, with sixteen months to a year. Two years is then thirty-two months. I can't do the rest of the math without a calculator, but I think two years there would cover for the training Keiki recieves. He has to learn to use a neuter-voice--as neuter as he can make it, anyway--and to lose the contractions and slang of his former Station. I'm still trying to mentally do the math here. It's not working. Huh. According to the computer's calculator--if I entered it all correctly, two of their years is about three and a half of our years here. Good. That'll cover it. No fussing with the timeline there. (sigh of relief)
I can't quite figure out how I'm going to put Keiki where he needs to be when he needs to be there, but I do know he's going to hound after Barukei. Keiki's doing anything to avoid ascending to the throne, and I don't know at this point if the relationship between him and Barukei will develop as it had in the first draft. I may not let it; the emotional turmoil, especially after Barukei confronts Keiki should prove quite interesting. I don't want to make things too easy for Keiki, since he's refusing to follow his heart.
Sometimes characters can be so vexing.